I got married one month ago. We went on a honeymoon. We came home to Austin. Hubs left the following day. I haven’t seen him since then, but he will *hopefully* be home tomorrow evening, likely at an hour at which I should already be sleeping. He will be home until Sunday, and then gone again for a couple of weeks. And then back for a week, and then gone a few more. My calendar memory is weak, but mostly I know that he is mostly gone until August. And then we have no idea.
So I miss him. I miss him more, as this latest tour was immediately following so much awesomeness and love and crazyfuntimes. But I miss him often, and this has just become a part of our relationship. Because, my friends, my new husband is a working musician. So first, let me answer your questions:
- Yes, he gets paid.
- Lead guitar, mostly, but also banjo, mandolin, accordion, lap steel, etc.
- Maybe you have heard of the band he plays with. Probably not. I’m not bothered either way, so don’t worry.
- Nah, I don’t worry about ladies hitting on him on the road. I think it’s sort of cute and funny.
- Nope, I don’t hate it.
Let’s talk about #5. I would guess that 97% of the conversations that I have with people about what my significant other does for a living result in people asking me if I hate that he travels so much for work and them telling me that they would hate it. I don’t hate it, and it’s actually not super supportive of you to suggest that I do. When you tell me that your partner works in finance/education/ engineering/ oil and gas/ what the frick ever, I will never ask you if you hate it and then tell you I hate it. Because that would be awkward, right? So yeah. I don’t hate it for the same reason you don’t hate your accountant husband’s job. It’s his job. He loves it. He is fortunate to make a living doing something he enjoys, and I am pretty fortunate to be with someone who loves what they do. The traveling poses some unique relationship challenges. But it also requires us to reach out to other people in our worlds, to build lives that we find personally fulfilling so that we are the best people we can be for each other, to challenge us to figure out how to communicate and make each other feel loved when we are in different places and to not take the time we have together for granted. This is just life for us. It’s just a little different than yours. And dudes, it is totally not rosy all the time. I get mad about things and sometimes feel neglected and wonder how on earth we will ever make a baby with this schedule. But I choose him and he chooses me and we figure it out. So nope, don’t really hate that at all. But thanks for making me explain.
*photo by Whitney Lee